Conservationists,The Erotic Adventures of Zorro relax. President Trump should be lauded for all of the work he's done to protect America's vulnerable human turkeys.
On Tuesday, the president will pardon some elitist poultry for the White House's annual turkey pardon ceremony. Far too little attention, however, has been given to the actual human turkeys Trump has pardoned throughout his first year in office.
SEE ALSO: Sorry, Cards Against Humanity can't stop Trump's wallBoth venal and dumb, human turkeys are one of the most at-risk turkey species in America. Few people are willing to come to the defense of human turkeys outside of some well-paid lawyers, and even then, meh.
Not our Trump. Here are just a few of the human turkeys Trump has pardoned, legally or otherwise, while in Washington.
1. Jared "No Meat On These Bones" Kushner
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable composite 2. Vladimir "Gobble Gobbled Up America" Putin
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable 3. Michael "Wild Turkey" Flynn
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable 4. Bill "Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done" O'Reilly
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable composite 5. Steve "I Only Like White Meat" Bannon
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable composite 6. Sheriff "Carve Me A Spot In Your Administration" Arpaio
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/ambar del moral/mashable composite No matter how many turkeys we slaughter this year, these human turkeys will always roam cage and prison-free.
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